You may have people around you encouraging you to “be positive,” or you may believe you have to squelch any negative emotions you may feel in order to put on a brave face.

In Chapter 4 of my book, When Cancer Hits, I tell you why “being positive” by itself could actually harm you on your way to recovery, and give you some real, practical tools you can use to deal with all the emotions cancer and cancer treatment may create.

Guilt Has No Room in Your Survival Plan

Did you find yourself feeling guilty after your diagnosis? Did you think that maybe if you had only eaten a healthier diet, or exercised more often, or reduced more stress, you wouldn’t have ended up with the disease? I help you face the guilt monster, stare it down, and cast it aside.

Faking Your Emotions Never Works

Do you find yourself trying to smile when you least feel like it? Do you feel pressured by family and friends to “be brave,” and “stay positive?” I felt some of these emotions when I went through Hodgkin’s disease at 16 years old, and I can tell you—squashing your emotions is bad for you. Not only do those emotions stay with you, they can actually reduce your body’s ability to fight off the cancer. (Studies have shown that repressing emotions makes you feel more physical pain and can affect your immune system.) I show you how to approach negative emotions in a healthy way, so you can more easily return to real positive emotions.

Tools to Help Accentuate the Positive

Have you ever made plans to make yourself feel good? If you haven’t, now is the time to start. Making plans to spend time with friends, enjoy a funny movie, get a nice massage, listen to your favorite music, and more are all extremely necessary while you’re going through cancer. You’ll be so busy with doctor appointments and medical records and insurance paperwork and the like that you’ll find things like just enjoying yourself can quickly slip out the window—yet they’re so necessary to your healing process! In Chapter 4, I give you all kinds of ideas for activities that help you process difficult emotions and find your way to feeling even just a little bit better.

Don’t be Afraid to Seek Help

Often we feel we have to be the brave soldiers and go through cancer alone. This decision is bad for your health, however, and dangerous to your recovery. You need support, and not just someone to help clean the house and make the meals. You need someone to talk to, someone who understands, and you need activities that really go to the core of what you’re experiencing. I show you how support groups can actually speed your healing; how music, art, and pet therapy can all be valuable tools in your recovery; and how counseling can be a lifesaver.

Learning the tools and skills you need to process and manage difficult emotions will not only help you navigate your cancer experience, but could be useful to you long after the cancer is in remission. I share with you some quotes from other survivors who learned a lot, emotionally, from their experiences, and help encourage you that with patience, you can get through whatever it is with courage and grace.

(When Cancer Hits is available now—click here.)

Have you experienced difficult emotions because of cancer or cancer treatments? Have you tried some of the tips in my book? Let me know what you think!

You’re in luck! I’ve got some great ideas for you. Check out this list of 10 and see if any of them fit what you’re looking for. Then be sure to write in and tell me about how the gift was received!

1. When Cancer Hits. Okay, it’s the obvious one and you knew I had to mention it, so here it is—my book, When Cancer Hits. Seriously, I’ve gotten some great feedback from readers, and those who got it after their cancer treatments were over say they wished they had it during treatment. It’s safe, it’s inexpensive, and it has lots of great tips inside!

2. Spa treatments. Ask anyone living with cancer—or who has survived cancer, for that matter—what really feels good, and they’re likely to say something like a massage, reflexology, or a relaxing facial. Why not get them a gift certificate to the spa? Just make sure you choose one that has people trained in oncology esthetics. Here’s a great list of licensed oncology estheticians near you.

3. Sable’s food bars. These were developed with feedback from actual cancer patients. You can take them with you, and they come in several great flavors. Easily digestible and full of nutrients, Sable’s bars are something your loved one may be able to eat when not much else sounds appetizing.

4. Guided meditations. I don’t know if your friend has tried meditation, but even if he or she hasn’t, the CDs from Belleruth Naparstek’s “Health Journeys” can be extremely relaxing and stress-relieving. My father used them all the time during his cancer battle and I love the general wellness one.

5. Comfy pajamas, robes, and slippers. If you know someone who’s going through chemotherapy or radiation, they will absolutely love these. Look for PJ’s that have elastic waists, and slippers with rubber soles to help prevent falls. For those suffering night sweats, Dry Babe absorbent PJ’s are really helpful.

6. Soft cotton gloves. Those living with cancer are more at risk from exposure to the sun, to toxic chemicals, and to sharp objects. They are also likely to have dry hands. Cotton gloves can be worn at night to seal in moisturizer, and during the day to protect the hands from injury. Gardening gloves shield against the elements, and household gloves protect against excess water—though be cautious with rubber gloves as they can seal in heat, making hand and foot syndrome worse.

7. Argan oil. Cancer patients and survivors suffer from extremely dry skin. Kahina Giving Beauty 100% Organic Argan Oil is the perfect moisturizer. Free of synthetics, it nurtures and repairs without harsh chemicals, yet it has only one ingredient!

8. Alcohol-free mouthwashes and sulfate-free toothpastes. Alcohol is harsh and irritating, especially to mouths that are plagued with sores. Toothpastes with sodium laureth sulfate are known to increase the risk of mouth ulcers. Look for safer brands like Vitacare.

9. Scent-free products. Synthetic fragrances can contain hundreds of chemicals not listed on the label. Some of these may be harsh or irritating to sensitive skin. Those living with cancer may also find some fragrances nauseating. Look for quality fragrance-free personal care products. A basket full of fragrance-free items makes a great gift! Just make sure you read the labels for other potentially harmful chemicals and stay away from my Ingredients to Avoid.

10. Eyebrow stencils. People living with cancer may lose their hair not only on their heads, but over their eyes as well. If you’ve never drawn on eyebrows before, you may find the task really difficult. Anastasia has the perfect eyebrow kit, and Jane Irdale includes shadows, wax and brushes.

Do you have some great safe gift ideas for the holidays? Let us know!

Photo courtesy Pedal Power CT via Flickr.com.

The good news is that how you change is completely up to you.

This is such a fundamental part of the cancer experience that I devoted the first chapter of my book, When Cancer Hits, to this topic. I got some great thoughts from other cancer survivors out there, including Donald Wilhelm, who said, “You’re never going to be the same person you were before. But you can choose who you are, today. And you can choose who you will become, tomorrow.”

Who is This “New” Person in the Mirror?

One of the things cancer does is change your appearance. You may lose your hair, end up with extremely dry skin, gain or lose weight, experience cracked and broken nails, and get dark circles under your eyes. You may look in the mirror and not even recognize that person.

In Chapter 1, I explain that all this is very natural and normal. We all go through it. In fact, in today’s visual society, cancer’s effects on our appearance can be extremely traumatic. I give you an “Appearance Meter Quiz” to help you figure out what your appearance really means to you, and then give you ways to cope with the changes.

What Cancer Treatments Do to the Body

Though I go into more detail in later chapters, here I give you a general introduction about what cancer treatments like chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery can do to your body, so you can better understand all the changes you may go through. Then I show you how you can help maintain control of your appearance—even though right now you may feel completely out of control!

Who Am I Now?

All these changes can cause a true identity crisis in many people. After all, if you look different in the mirror, you feel different in your body, and your whole life is different than it used to be, than who are you now? I guide you through some interactive exercises that help you bring yourself back…to yourself.

What is Your Personal Chemical Exposure?

Realizing that everything is changing, I ask you to check your current routine and personal care products to evaluate your daily chemical exposure. Later in the book I help you make some changes that will be better for your fragile skin and body, but in this first chapter I help you take stock of what your current routine may be doing to your health.

I hope, after reading Chapter 1, that you feel a new sense of empowerment. Cancer can make you feel like a fish out of water—like you just don’t have any control anymore over your life. Chapter 1 acknowledges that yes, things have changed, but you still have control over how you are going to handle it!

(When Cancer Hits is available now—click here.)

Were you overwhelmed by the changes cancer brought to your life? Please share your story.

According to a new study, however, that’s not always the case. In fact, most people make very few changes to their lifestyle, even after suffering something really scary like cancer or a heart attack.

No Efforts to Lose Weight

A study published in the American Heart Journal (2007), for example, followed over 1,200 men and women who were overweight and had experienced a heart attack. A year later, those people had lost only 0.2 percent of their body weight. (About one pound for a 220-pound man.) In addition, at least 40 percent of smokers who survive a heart attack are still smoking a year later, even though studies have found that individuals who quit after their first heart attack were 37 percent less likely to die of another attack, compared to those who kept smoking.

Few Efforts to Eat Right

Other studies have shown that those who have gone through cancer haven’t done much better in making healthy changes. A study published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology (2008) found that out of 9,000 cancer survivors, only a few had switched to a healthier lifestyle. The good news is that most had given up smoking, but fewer than 20 percent consumed the recommended five servings of fruits sand vegetables a day, and less than half were exercising regularly. A real shame, since studies have shown such positive benefits of exercising. Women who had breast cancer, for example, reduce their risk of breast cancer death by 50 percent or more if they include regular physical activity in their lives.

Why don’t people try to change?

Researchers have tried to figure this out. Why would people, after suffering a life-threatening event, fail to make changes that could potentially reduce their risk of suffering such an event again? Researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that out of 1,600 cancer survivors, only one in three had received advice from their doctors about how to eat right, only one in four had been advised to start an exercise program, and less than half had discussed their smoking habits with their physicians.

So a lack of support from doctors is one part of it, but it’s not the only reason people have a hard time changing. Some people just don’t know how to go about changing. For others, it seems an overwhelming task, and they don’t know where to start, so they just don’t.

There’s no doubt that change is hard, especially when it comes to daily habits. Here are a few quick tips to help you get started. Please, if you’ve suffered a life-threatening event like cancer or a heart attack, don’t go back to business as usual. You can make a difference in your own life, and believe me, it’s worth the effort!

• Ask your doctor for help on how to live a healthier lifestyle.
• Partner up with a friend who knows what you’ve been through. Get together for exercise or to cook healthy meals.
• Join a class—yoga, tai chi, dance, zumba, whatever strikes your fancy and gets you moving.
• Write down your goals, and make sure they’re attainable. Instead of, “I want to lose 50 pounds,” try “I want to lose one pound a week.”
• Identify your “triggers”—those things that make you want to eat sugar, smoke, or avoid exercise—and decide how you will handle them, or what you will do instead of your old unhealthy habit.
• Be kind to yourself, and keep trying every day!

Did you make changes after your experience with cancer? Please share your story.

Photo courtesy chichacha via Flickr.com.

If you’ve recently been diagnosed with cancer, or if you are caring for a loved one who has, you’ll want to get your hands on this book. I’ve loaded it with all the information my father and I needed when we went through cancer. Truly, this is the book we wish we could have had back then!

All the things the doctors don’t tell you about are in these pages, along with remedies and techniques that will help you cope. Inside, you’ll discover how to:

• Implement proven solutions for mouth sores, nausea, radiation burns, fatigue, dry skin, neuropathy, and more.
• Create your own personal hair-loss plan, and find the solution that fits your style.
• Manage stress, anxiety, worry, and despair.
• Complement your treatment with the proven benefits of acupuncture, reflexology, massage and meditation.
• Protect yourself from personal care and housecleaning products that contain potentially carcinogenic ingredients—and learn what products are safe to use.
• Treat and conceal redness, rashes, swelling, scars, and skin discoloration.

If you’ve been looking for someone who to help you through this journey, I hope you’ll consider letting me be that person. I can help you navigate the changes you’ll experience between the doctor’s office and everyday living, and show you how to sustain positive energy during treatment and beyond. Plus you’ll read real-life stories from other survivors, and glean advice from doctors and experienced health experts.

Here’s what some other nice people are saying about the book:

“Battling cancer is a Herculean task that requires courage, fortitude and many, many decisions. There are lots of experts in the field, but advice from one who went through it herself is invaluable. I wish this book had existed during my own battle.”

—Fran Drescher, Actress, Cancer Survivor, President of Cancer Schmancer

“This is the book I wish I had for every patient diagnosed with cancer. It fills the void between the diagnosis and the journey onward. A great blueprint for how to cope with the journey from choosing safe personal care products to addressing all the changes that your skin and body will go through to managing side effects.”

—Dr. Madeline Krauss, M.D.

You can pre-order now on Amazon—just click here. Then feel free to comment on this post with what you think!

Thank you all for your ongoing support![youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svJOPelE1C8[/youtube]

1. Talk to your insurance company. As early as you can, find out what your insurance covers. See if you can be assigned a case manager, so you can talk to the same person every time you call. Ask about cancer treatments, hospital stays, prescriptions, potential home care, whatever you think you may need. Ask your doctor and nurse for help on what expenses you may incur. If you have limited or no insurance, contact your state or local department of social services for information on public health programs.

2. Check financial aid programs. Fortunately, there are a lot of financial aid programs for cancer patients. For those with blood cancers, check the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Other organizations that offer financial assistance include CancerCare, the Cancer Financial Assistance Coalition (CFAC), the American Cancer Society, the Patient Advocate Foundation, and many other programs listed here at the National Cancer Institute, and here at CancerLinkUSA.

3. Stay on top of your credit. If you get into trouble and can’t pay your bills, don’t wait—talk to your creditors early, let them know what’s going on, and work to negotiate lower payments. A nonprofit credit counseling service may be able to help. You may be able to get a disability waiver for your mortgage, car loan, or other debts. Your utility company may have financial assistance programs as well.

4. Create a new budget. Talk with your family on where you can cut expenses, and make a monthly budget. Things are going to change, and you can’t help that. Making a plan can help you feel more in control. Do you have money saved that you can use if you have to? Do you have assets you can sell or liquidate? What monthly expenses can you reduce? Try to sit down and calmly discuss your options.

5. Be willing to accept help. Sometimes we have a hard time accepting help from people who care about us. It could be our pride talking, or it might be that we just don’t want to be a “burden.” But remember, if someone offers you financial help, you’ll be helping them if you take it. People like to help, and it feels good to help others. Someday the tables may be turned, so nod your head, say “thank you,” and be happy for the assistance.

6. Understand your rights. You may be entitled to unpaid leave from your job. If you have to leave work, you may be able to keep your healthcare coverage for up to three years. If you change jobs, a federal law called HIPAA can protect you from being denied coverage. Never assume—always find out about your rights.

7. Get organized. Dealing with cancer involves a lot of paperwork. If you’re not organized, you’ll soon feel overwhelmed. Find a filing cabinet or something similar where you can keep track of insurance information, notes from doctors visits, copies of test results, support organizations, and more.

8. Check with your accountant about taxes. Many of your cancer treatments may be deductible. Place a call to your accountant—he or she can tell you how to keep track of those expenses you can be reimbursed for. Keep and file all medication receipts and bills.

9. Consider a fund-raising event. You or a loved one may be interested in holding a fund-raising event to help with finances. The Patient Advocate Foundation has some great ideas for how you can best do that.

10. Don’t be afraid to talk about it. You may feel uncomfortable talking about your finances with others. It may have never been necessary before. But trust me, the more you do it, the more comfortable you will become, and whatever discomfort you have to go through at first, it will be worth it to stay on top of your finances. Talk to your doctor, your accountant, a financial advisor, your friends, your family, your boss, your creditors, a social worker, financial aid organizations, your insurance company, everyone who might be able to help. This is not the time to go it alone!

How did you manage your finances during cancer? Please share any tips you may have.

Photo courtesy the weddingssc1 via Flickr.com.

1. Cancer treatments affect your whole body. Most of us worry about losing our hair, or feeling sick to our stomachs, but trust me, cancer treatments like chemotherapy and radiation can affect your whole body. Your appetite, your skin, your energy levels, and even your emotions can all be thrown off kilter. Get help early—even with the grocery shopping—and learning to be gentle with yourself.

2. Put yourself first. Many of us have work, family, and community commitments. When you’re diagnosed with cancer, you absolutely must put yourself first. Your medical care, home care, and emotional care must become your priorities, so you can get well.

3. Skin care is extremely important. Use lukewarm, not hot, water, and wash gently, patting dry. Moisturize moisturize moisturize every chance you get, and protect from the sun with hats, gloves, and long sleeves. Especially if you have scars, like I did, extra care is important!

4. Most personal care products are too harsh! Don’t be surprised if your regular soap, body wash, shave gel, makeup, and other products suddenly start to irritate and burn your skin. Many contain harsh chemicals and even potentially carcinogenic ingredients. When caring for my father during his battle with cancer, I bought him an expensive face cream that burned his skin. I wish I would have known! Now I read labels and buy only safe products.

5. Chemo rashes are not the same as acne. Many chemotherapy drugs can cause an acne-like rash, but this is not the same as regular acne. If you use harsh acne medications, you could make the situation worse, possibly even permanently scarring your skin. Try more natural remedies like soothing chamomile and water, an oatmeal paste on your face for 10 minutes, or an organic clay facial. Above all, be gentle!

6. Shop for a wig before you lose your hair. This is the best way to match your natural hair to your wig. If you wait until after your hair is gone, it will be harder to make it look the same.

7. You can relieve side effects. My father experienced hand and foot syndrome, and I found him one day just sitting in bed with his hands up, suffering. Please don’t ever do that! There are always things that can help. Ask your doctor and check online. (I have some great tips on my blog and in my book!) Pain only delays your recovery.

8. Choose the right kind of massage therapist. Massage can be a huge blessing during treatment. It eases stress and can help reduce side effects. If you go to someone who doesn’t know what he or she is doing, however, you could increase your risk of developing lymphedema. There are new oncology estheticians out there who are specifically trained to work with cancer patients. Ask for credentials, then lay back and enjoy.

9. Cold helps reduce hair loss and nail damage. Recent research has shown that applying cold to your fingers and head can help reduce hair loss and nail damage. The cold slows the blood flow to these areas, which means less of the chemotherapy drug can affect them. Studies show it really works! Try the “Elasto-Gel” flexible glove (available on Amazon), and the “DigniCap” made by Dignitana of Lund in Sweden.

10. Acupuncture improves post-chemotherapy fatigue. If you’ve gone through chemo, you know how draining it is. Studies have shown that acupuncture can help reduce that bone-deep fatigue by 30 percent! I really could have used that extra help!

11. Just because treatments are over doesn’t mean it’s “over.” One of the most difficult transitions in my life was going from cancer patient to cancer survivor.  Everyone around me thought I should be fine, but I wasn’t! I wish I had known that those feelings are completely normal. It takes time to process it all—get help, and be patient with yourself.

12. Helping others helps you. As you work to recover after your cancer treatments are over, try to find a way to help others. Share your story, talk to the newly diagnosed, or volunteer somehow in your community. Giving back helps you redefine your purpose, and get back to living.

Have you learned things from your cancer journey you’d like to share? Please tell us!

Photo courtesy the Nelly Guaman via Flickr.com.

Fortunately, there is help. Many cancer centers, realizing that the struggle doesn’t end once the radiation stops, are creating survival programs that help people cope with the changes they face after treatment is over. The Cancer Wellness Center at Piedmont Health Care is one of them, helping survivors cope with programs like yoga, music and art therapy, social events, and massage. Doors are open to all cancer patients and survivors, no matter where they received treatment. Georgia Cancer Specialists, a Top 10 private cancer practice in the U.S., has implemented a “Life After Treatment” program to help patients cope with post-treatment doctor’s visits, tests, and concerns like fatigue and hair loss for months to years after treatment is over.

The Winship Cancer Institute is working on a similar program to offer follow-up care. They plan to implement a volunteer program that will match newly diagnosed patients with survivors, as well as offer treatment for the various long-term side effects of chemotherapy and radiation. “It is important to understand that it takes time to recover and adjust to life after a cancer diagnosis,” Winship’s site says. “Determining what is the new normal may take some time.”

The Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha, Nebraska offers a survivorship program that “helps address the physical and emotional challenges the cancer survivor experiences.” The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston provides the “Perini Family Survivor’s Center” to help survivors “access post-treatment follow-up care, including counseling and monitoring of long-term side effects of treatment.” They even include a specialized survivor program for children.

The list goes on. In fact, these programs are becoming so popular that you’re likely to find one at a cancer center or hospital near you. The point is that experts around the nation, from doctors to counselors to oncologists to survivors themselves, all realize that surviving cancer is a task best tackled with help and support from others.

“Far too many distressed cancer survivors are left to suffer alone,” said Mike Hobday, head of Macmillan Cancer Support. “It’s great that people are surviving cancer, but we cannot dessert them after their initial treatment is over.”

Fortunately, more survivor programs are in the works. Whether or not you have one available to you, realize that your journey doesn’t end when treatment stops. Seek support from counselors, support groups, nutritionists, massage therapists, acupuncturists, financial counselors, or whatever you need.

“Whether you are coping with the debilitating effects of therapy or you have no external physical evidence of the disease, research validates what you already know: cancer causes change,” writes Sherri Magee and Kathy Scalzo in Picking Up the Pieces. “Once your cancer treatments have ended, you face the challenging task of picking up the pieces of your life and putting them back together again.”

How have you coped with survivorship? Please share your story.

Photo courtesy roidinc via Flickr.com.

Sometimes this thinking serves me well, like when I realize that I probably contracted a cold because I was pushing myself too hard and didn’t get enough rest. (Note to self: Work rest into your schedule no matter what!) Other times, however, it can be difficult to find meaning in your life’s experiences. Especially if those experiences include cancer.

“Why me?” is a question many of us ask when cancer comes knocking at our doors. I remember thinking that when cancer hit me as a teenage girl. I was healthy, active, and socially involved. Why did I have to go through chemotherapy and operations and hair loss and weight gain and night sweats when most girls my age had concerns no bigger than their hairstyles or makeup choices?

It’s taken me years to find my own meaning in the experience, but I’ve succeeded, and I feel more grounded and on-purpose than ever before. Looking back, I realize that my battle with cancer prepared me to help my father through his cancer journey, which led to my desire to create Cinco Vidas and give back to the entire cancer community. I realize now how my experience with cancer gave me the insight and empathy to communicate with other fighters and survivors, as well as the knowledge that health is a gift, and I must work everyday to protect and nurture it.

Some people don’t need this deeper “meaning” to go with their cancer experience. They realize that cancer can happen to anyone, and when it happens to them, they just figure they were dealt a certain hand and they learn to live with it. If you’re someone like me, however, who looks for the connections and mysteries in life, you may need to spend some time delving into your own psyche.

“How do you make meaning?” asks creativity coach Eric Maisel. “By letting go of wondering what the universe wants of you, by letting go of the fear that nothing matters, and by announcing that you will make life mean exactly what you intend it to mean.”

This is good news. Just when cancer makes you feel that your life is out of control, you can realize that the meaning of the experience is totally up to you. How do you go about finding that meaning? It takes time. For me, it took years. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get started.

David Simon, M.D., co-founder of the Chopra Center, wrote a book called Return to Wholeness, and in it, he suggests that to get started on your quest for meaning, you ask yourself the following questions:

• If I knew that I had only one more year to live, what changes would I make in my life now?
• If I were able to speak directly to my cancer, what positive message would it have for me?
• Imagining that it is five years from now and my illness is behind me, what would I tell someone else in my situation about the meaning of my illness?
• If I were able to speak directly to my God, what would he or she say to me about the meaning of my illness?

Give yourself some quiet time to answer. Journal about it. Talk to a good friend. Maybe the cancer has given you a chance to reevaluate your life in a way you never have before. Maybe this is your chance to make some changes, or to adjust your point of view. Maybe you’re just the person to share your experience in a way that would help others. Maybe the shock of the whole thing will set you on a brand new path to a new future. The possibilities are endless. What matters most is that you find the meaning that suits you.

Maisel tells us to ask, “How do I make myself proud?” The answer to this question, above all, may be the most important one for your future.

Have you found meaning in your cancer experience? Please share your story.

Photo courtesy Frenz64 via Flickr.com.

Despite public complaints, it looks like within the next few years these machines will become a normal part of airport security. Should we be concerned about our health?

First, let’s get clear about a few basic things. Radiation is a general word for “emission,” and usually refers to a certain type of energy coming from a source, like the sun or an x-ray machine. There are a lot of different types of radiation, and they can vary along a spectrum of very high energy (high-frequency) to very low energy (low frequency). Gamma rays (like those generated in nuclear explosions) are an example of high-energy radiation, while radio waves are low energy.

Once you understand low energy and high energy, there’s one more thing you want to know about radiation—whether it’s “ionizing” or “non-ionizing.” Ionizing radiation is high-frequency radiation that can damage DNA in cells, which can lead to cancer. Non-ionizing radiation is low frequency and doesn’t have enough energy to directly damage DNA.

So now we can talk specifics. How are we exposed to ionizing (damaging) radiation? We can be exposed through x-rays, ultraviolet rays (the sun), regular airline travel (higher altitudes expose us to more radiation from the sun), power lines, cell phones, and even TV and computer screens. Whether or not this radiation does any damage depends on the dose of the radiation. Now we know that radiation can cause cancer—no question about that—but most studies have looked at people exposed to very high levels such as those who survived the Chernobyl nuclear accident. So far, science is unclear as to the risks presented by low-level radiation exposure. Still, they agree that the lower your exposure, the better, as radiation is just plain not good for you.

This is why it’s best to avoid unnecessary radiation exposure whenever possible—to keep your overall lifetime number down. Going through an airport scanner once in your life is probably not going to hurt you, but what if you’re a frequent traveler? Pilots are the perfect example—and the world’s largest independent airline pilot association is warning its members to avoid body scanners and opt for pat-downs instead. Pilots are already exposed to more radiation than usual because they’re spending hours in the upper atmosphere. Many feel uncomfortable adding more. Some studies have shown that pilots are at increased risks for certain types of cancer, like prostate cancer, myeloid leukemia, and malignant melanoma. Scientists aren’t sure yet whether or not the radiation is to blame, but many pilots, obviously, are concerned.

Still, several agencies are assuring us that the exposure from these machines is very low—equivalent to what you would naturally receive from two minutes of flying at 35,000 feet. To look at it another way—you’d need more than 1,000 of these scans in a year to reach the same dose you’d get from one standard x-ray.

That’s a really small dose. The only thing that unsettles me a little is that 1) there have been no long-term studies on the effects of these machines, 2) apparently the machine could malfunction, and emit more radiation than it’s supposed to, and 3) radiation experts from the University of California have warned that though these machines produce low-energy beams, the radiation is delivered only to the skin and underlying tissue. Sounds good at first, until you realize that dumping everything onto such a small fraction of the body could mean that the real dose to the skin is actually high.

“The majority of their energy is delivered to the skin and the underlying tissue,” the scientists write. “Thus, while the dose would be safe if it were distributed throughout the volume of the entire body, the dose to the skin may be dangerously high.”

The FDA wrote an extended (hard-to-understand) response to the California scientists basically saying that the exposure to the skin is still really low, and that it would take 250 exposures per day to reach safety limits.

The bottom line right now seems to be that these machines are safe, with low radiation emissions. The alternative is the new, groping pat-downs (which we’ll talk about in another post). You have to make the choice that feels best to you.

If you do opt to go through the scanners, I came across new shielding underwear options that may help you feel safer. An inventor from Colorado created some with strategically placed designs made of a special metal that protects your privacy during screenings. (I’m sure there are other designers as well.) There are Belly Bands to keep fetuses safe from the radiation as well. These garments are said to be radiation free, machine washable, and so far the Transportation Security Administration have said nothing about them. I’m withholding my opinion on these for the moment as I’d like to know more about the metal used to make them, but I couldn’t find much information on it. If you know more, I want to hear from you!

Are you concerned about radiation exposure from airport security scanners? Please share your thoughts.

Photo courtesy EliasSchewel via Flickr.com.

Cathy Bossi, a flight attendant and cancer survivor, says TSA agents stopped their pat down when they got to her right breast. “She put her full hand on my breast and said, ‘What is this?’ And I said, ‘It’s my prosthesis because I’ve had breast cancer.’ And she said, ‘Well, you’ll need to show me that.’”

According to the TSA website, security officers aren’t supposed to require you to remove your prosthetic device, but these agents did.

“I do believe in security,” Bossi said. “But I do believe it has gone too far.”

Tom Sawyer, a former high school teacher from Michigan, is a bladder cancer survivor and thus wears a urostomy bag. During his pat-down, agents didn’t listen to his explanations, squeezed the bag until it ruptured and ended up spilling urine on him. The TSA later apologized to the man, but it was a case of too little, too late. He had to go onboard and travel with no bag and urine all over his clothes.

I wish I had an easy solution for anyone with medical issues going through these new invasive pat-downs, but the only thing we can do now is voice our opinions. This is all supposed to be about safety, but so many Americans are questioning whether or not these measures are really making us any safer. Texas Republican Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison has called on TSA officials to soften their approach. “We’ve got to do more,” she said. “The outcry is huge.”

If you want to speak out against the new pat-downs, you may want to review this petition to the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives. Otherwise if you have a bad experience, report it to airport security and/or the TSA.

Some airports insist you go through either the body scanner or the pat-down. Others, however, won’t pull you aside unless you fail the metal detector. Whatever you experience, here are some tips to help you out:
• If you are wearing a medical device, warn the agent ahead of time. TSA says a very small percent of people actually have to go through a pat-down. Remember if you are required to go through the pat-down, you can always request a private room and a same-sex agent. You can also request that a witness be present.
• Don’t wear anything with metal that could set off the detector. If you have a belt, take it off and put it through with your shoes. Also remove metal watches, jewelry, pens, hair accessories, eyeglasses, keys, and anything in your pockets.
• Avoid big, bulky clothing, like flowing skirts or multiple layers, as it looks like you could be carrying something underneath. If you need that extra sweater, take it off before you go through the metal detector.
• If you have to choose between the electronic body scanner and the pat down, consider this: the scanner is faster, but it does expose you to a very low level of radiation. The pat down is quite intrusive and takes more time, but it does save you the radiation exposure. Consider what you would prefer ahead of time.
• Choose your top carefully—if you have to go through the body scanner, you’ll have to put your arms above your head. Depending on how you feel about your underarms, you may want to wear shirts with sleeves, and shirts that will stay down over your tummy when your hands are up.
• For more information, check out the TSA’s website.

How do you feel about the new pat-downs? Do you have any recommendations?

Photo courtesy Crazy Lady Rocks via Flickr.com.

You’ve probably had the same thing happen. You spread yourself too thin, and then you wear yourself out. You try to do better the next time around, but then your friend asks you to babysit after a long day at work, or your sister ropes you into organizing a big birthday party for your nephew. You know it’s too much, but you don’t want to disappoint anyone. Besides, saying “no” is so difficult, right? You choose to shortchange yourself instead. Unfortunately, that can lead to anger and resentment, which will eventually take a toll on your health if you don’t deal with it.

When you’re fighting cancer, it’s even more important to make adequate time for yourself to rest, meditate, get a massage, and just concentrate on healing. This is self-care! More than any other time, this is when you need to get really good at saying “no.” I realize that it’s not easy, so here are a few tips to help. Start practicing today!

Don’t expect to be perfect. If you’re used to agreeing to any and all demands placed on you, don’t expect to navigate the “no” waters smoothly and easily the first few times. Allow yourself to stumble, but stick with it. You’ll get better with practice.

Prepare what you’re going to say. To raise your odds of carrying it off successfully, write or type what you’re going to say. Give yourself several options like, “I’m flattered you asked, but I have another conflict at that time.” Or, “Typically I enjoy helping, but I’m not going to be available for a few months.” Or a favorite for when you’re feeling panicked, “Let me think about it and get back to you.” This will give you time to get clear on what you want to say. Ask the person when he/she needs your answer and wait until that deadline. Don’t rush yourself to make a decision.

Be firm. You may find your tone of voice over-apologetic at first. This gives the other person the wrong impression—like maybe she can change your mind with a little pressure. Practice saying, “I’m sorry, that’s not going to work for me” in a firm, decisive tone of voice. If you’re dealing with a particularly pushy person, don’t be afraid to just smile and repeat the statement. “I’m sorry, that’s not going to work for me.” They’ll get the idea. If you feel some guilt, remember that you spoke your truth, and you didn’t really “hurt” anyone. What others think of you after you graciously declined is none of your business.  You are learning to set boundaries.

Don’t feel you have to explain. Keep it simple. You have no obligation to explain your reasons for saying no, unless you want to. A simple statement is all you need. You also don’t need to feel like you have to make up a reason, or fabricate a story. Respect yourself and allow others to respect you by making your decision and letting that be enough.

Write down your priorities. What is most important to you right now? Is it to take an extra shift at work? Or to get the rest you need? Write down your top 5-10 priorities and keep these in front of you on a daily basis to help you stick to your resolve. Remember that when you say “yes” to something, you’re saying “no” to something else you could do with that block of time. Be absolutely sure about any commitment you make.

Tune into your body. When someone makes a request, how does it make you feel? Tune into your stomach. Does it feel tight and tense? Do you have a sense of foreboding? If so, make no mistake—your answer needs to be “no.” If the request makes you feel excited and energetic, consider saying yes. Just make sure the task will benefit you, not take away from your ability to heal. Saying “no” is well worth the temporary discomfort you may feel in disappointing someone.

Remember: You’re not being selfish. If you find yourself feeling guilty about saying no, stop! You have every right to make decisions that are best for your health and happiness. You wouldn’t expect anyone else to sacrifice themselves for you—don’t expect it of yourself. Besides, saying “no” means you’ll have the energy and vitality to meet the commitments that are important to you.

Do you have other tips for learning how to say “no?” Please share them with us.

Photo courtesy viaduckvideo via Flickr.com.

Many cancer patients emerge from treatment thinking that finally, things can get back to normal. And many are equally disappointed to find that though their bodies may be healing, their thoughts and emotions are still overstressed.

“It’s always in the back of my mind,” says Chris, non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma survivor. “I get a cold and my glands swell and I think, ‘Uh-oh. Is it back?’”

Constant worry about the cancer coming back causes regular anxiety for most survivors. You’re expected to bounce back to your old self, but it’s more complicated than that. There are fears, questions, stress, and furthermore, though the cancer may be gone, your body isn’t the same as it used to be. Worst of all, you may find it more difficult to get help than you did while you were going through treatment.

“After months of relying on doctors, nurses, and technicians to examine, treat, and monitor patients to make them well,” writes R. J. Ignelzi for San Diego’s “Union Tribe,” “suddenly their health is once again their own responsibility. That can be scary and more than a little stressful.”

What can you do to relieve the stress and improve your outlook? Try the following.

Be patient. Remember all you’ve been through—the worry, the discomfort, the side effects, the hospitals, the doctor’s visits, the financial stresses, and more. It takes time to recover fully, so give yourself the time you need to fully heal.

Join a support group. No one understands what you’re going through more than others who are also going through it. Ask your oncology nurse or social worker about groups that may be right for you.

Consider seeing a counselor. A high percentage of survivors go through a period of depression. You have suffered a loss, and you’re grieving that loss. Maybe you lost your hair, your breast, your prostate, your lung, or part of your colon. Perhaps you lost your figure, or what you felt was your normal appearance. You may have lost a lot of money, been forced out of your career, or been unable to attend important family events. A counselor can help you sort through it all.

Talk frankly with your doctor. If you’re worried about something, even if it’s just a sore throat, don’t be afraid to talk with your doctor. He can put your worries at ease. In addition, ask him what you can do to avoid recurrence. Taking action always helps you regain control.

Exercise. Start slowly, perhaps with gentle exercises like yoga and Tai Chi, but get your body moving again. Treatments tend to leave you weak and sap you of muscle strength. Rebuilding your body releases natural endorphins that can help you feel better emotionally, as well.

Eat right. Not only will it help nourish your body and support your recovery, it could help you lower your risk of recurrence.

Consider massage, acupuncture, and Reiki. These alternative treatments can not only relieve long-lasting side effects, but can help you relax and learn to let go of your anxiety.

Be nice to yourself. Do something nice for yourself every day. Remember that you’ve come through a difficult ordeal, and you’re still here. Celebrate in every way you can!

Did you struggle after your last treatment was over? What advice do you have for others?

Photo courtesy Simone Bonazzoli via Flickr.com.

First of all, of course, you have your surgeon, your radiologist, and your oncologist. You want to make sure these people are top in their field, as they will be advising you on a lot of big decisions, say nothing of performing most of your treatments. Get second, third, and even fourth opinions if you need to. The important thing is that you feel comfortable with each one.

However, cancer isn’t just about killing bad cells. It’s also about trying to stay well during the process. That includes maintaining your weight and nutrition levels, staying emotionally balanced, and dealing with side effects. Getting help with these facets of care is just as important as making sure your surgeon knows what he’s doing.

Here are the other members who should be lining up in your batting box. If you’re missing one or two, it’s never too late to bring them on board.

Nurse: This is the person most likely to be your initial line of support when it comes to things like side effects. Feeling nauseated? Ask him/her about available medications. Have an injection site reaction? Call your nurse before you call your doctor. Nurses are also great for giving our recommendations of cancer support services in your community. Make friends with this person!

Counselor: Many people trust the physical challenges of cancer to a trained physician, but neglect to get help on the emotional side. Make no mistake—cancer challenges you emotionally just as much, if not more so, than physically. Before you blow your cork and take it out on your family and friends, make an appointment with a therapist of some sort; someone you can talk to and trust. This person can not only help you cope with your own fears and frustrations surrounding the disease, but can assist you with concerns on the job (how much should you tell your boss?) and with your children (what if they’re afraid when they see me with no hair?).

Spiritual Advisor: If you’re like many cancer fighters and survivors, you have some sort of faith in your life that provides stability and support. A spiritual advisor—whether your minister, priest, rabbi, spiritual healer, or even the chaplain on staff at the hospital—can help you deal with fear and anxiety about your diagnosis, and can even be of assistance when you find yourself angry at God (or whomever) and needing to vent.

Dietician or Naturopath: Nutrition is critical during cancer treatment, and it’s so easy to deprive our bodies when side effects start taking hold. Metal mouth, mouth sores, lack of appetite, and digestive difficulties make it hard to eat sometimes. Combine that with vomiting and diarrhea and you have a recipe for malnutrition, an extremely dangerous condition during cancer. Use this expert to get advice on things you can eat, even when you’re feeling down, that will help keep your body fighting.

Physical  Therapist: You know how it is if you fail to exercise even for a few days—it’s difficult to get back to where you were. If you fail to do any exercise through your entire treatment, your muscles will weaken and atrophy, leaving you less mobile and possibly making recovery more difficult. A physical therapist can steer you toward exercises that work for your current condition, even if you’re fatigued or stiff from surgery.

Accountant or Financial Advisor: Sometimes a social worker can help you in this area as well, but you should have someone on your team who can assist in financial matters. How much will your insurance pay, for instance, and how much will you have to cover? How can you manage your part of the payment? What can you deduct from your taxes? How will this affect your retirement? Financial concerns can cause many cancer patients a lot of stress and anxiety. Having someone in your corner can help you feel more in control.

Who did you have on your cancer treatment team? Who was your most helpful person?

Photo courtesy asonor1 via Flickr.com.

Talk about a lonely experience.

However, today’s technology makes it possible to connect with other fighters and survivors, no matter what kind of cancer you have, or how old you are. And that can make a big difference in your recovery. I’ve found a huge community of cancer fighters and survivors through Twitter and Facebook. It’s been such a blessing.

Studies have shown that support groups help cancer patients better navigate the short- and long-term impacts of their disease, and help to improve their quality of life through meaningful interactions, shared experiences, and laughter. However, some cancer patients don’t have access to these groups, or others may just feel more comfortable sharing in a more private setting.

Enter social media websites like Facebook and Twitter. These sites have exploded in the last few years as ways for people to connect with each other all over the world, but more than that, they have proven to be very important in helping people to deal with health issues. According to Manhattan Research’s Cybercitizen Health study, more than 60 percent of cancer patients are eHealth consumers, going online for health information—and to interact with others who have the disease.

“Cancer patients are also more avid users of health-related social media than age would predict,” says the Manhattan Research website. “This condition group tends to be more comfortable with sharing information and resources than other types of patients.”

Even more meaningful to cancer patients are sites like Planet Cancer and Cancer Compass, where fighters and survivors can connect with one another and discuss various aspects of the disease. There’s nothing like having someone else in the same situation as you to boost your spirits and give you hope. “Prior to 2000,” says Heidi Adams, founder of Planet Cancer, “there really wasn’t any way for this fragmented patient population to find each other and connect. Planet Cancer was created as an online home to connect patients.”

These sites give you the option to read comments from others, or choose to interact by submitting comments of your own. You can also send private messages or join a group, even share photos and videos. It’s like suddenly there are people out there who understand what you’re going through, and are interested in what you have to say.

“The opportunity to share resources, advice, and encouragement is something that can be incredibly empowering for a cancer patient,” Adams says.

Healthcare providers are also taking advantage of this new way to reach out to patients. In just two years, for example, the American Cancer Society has developed followings of more than 16,000 people on Twitter, and 170,000 on Facebook. These sites provide invaluable information about medical conditions and treatments, and are often where people go first before talking to their doctor.

“Cancer is a difficult and emotional disease to navigate,” says Monique Levy, Senior Director of Research at Manhattan Research, “leading patients to turn to their physicians, caregivers, and, now more than ever, the Internet for support and information….[S]ocial media will continue to play an important role in cancer care.”

Have you used social media sites to connect with other cancer fighters and survivors? Please share your recommendations.

Photo courtesy Eldercare2008 via Flickr.com.

“I hope they will remember me as the man who loved them,” he said, “and did everything he could for them.”

If you have terminal cancer and you have children, you may be wondering how best to help them handle your absence. Most experts recommend that you be truthful. Tell them you’re seriously ill, the name of your disease, and your best understanding of what may happen. Studies show that even very young children understand on some level the seriousness of a cancer diagnosis, so it’s best to address their fears head-on rather than try to avoid them. It’s okay to hope, and to let them hope, and especially important to assure them that none of it is their fault. It’s critical to spend time with them, doing things you love to do together, such as take a bike ride, a walk in the park, a trip to the zoo, or just playing a board game.

But then, what happens after you’re gone? How can you help them then? Many parents find it comforting to write their children letters. A letter is a tangible thing your child can hold in her hands for years to come. In the letter, you can express your values, your reflections on life, and your hopes for her future. You can provide assurances that you will always love her, and remind her of your confidence in her strength and inner power. Don’t get too wrapped up in writing the perfect letter, however. The more you can be yourself the better, as that will serve as the best reminder of your presence. Simply write as you would talk to your child, and remember that anything from you will serve as a treasured keepsake.

If you feel uncomfortable writing, you can accomplish the same goal through a video recording, or even a tape recording of just your voice. These “living” reminders of you are very comforting to children after you have left, as they help them remember your face, the sound of your voice, and your natural movements of expression. For young children, you may even want to record you singing a lullaby or reading a bedtime story.

Some parents find it healing to create a photo album of their lives to pass on to their children. You can sort through old photos, paste them into a scrapbook, and add handwritten captions that express your thoughts. You may even want to include old ticket stubs, menus from special dinners, personal notes, and more. This might even be something you could do together with your child, so he will remember the time you spent together on it when he’s looking through it after you’re gone.

Other ideas you may want to try:

• Write a poem for your children where you express your love for them.
• Write a song and record it on video.
• Paint or draw a picture of how you will be watching over them.
• Work together with your children to create a quilt that contains all your love.
• Gather several of your most prized possessions, and arrange them into a shadow box that can be hung on the wall.

If you’re facing this difficult situation, remember that children are stronger than we think they are, and that you have given them a great gift with your love and devotion during your time here. Create as many memories as you can, and know that the things you leave behind—especially those created with care and love specifically for your children—will help them to keep you in their hearts and minds, and to draw on the strength of your love for years to come.

A few resources that may help:

• When a Parent Has Cancer by Wendy S. Harpham, MD
• Helping Children when a Family Member Has Cancer: American Cancer Society
• When Your Parent Has Cancer: A Guide for Teens (National Cancer Institute)
• Books for Children Whose Parent Has Cancer (Revolution Health)
• Recommended Reading for Parents and Grandparents with Cancer (Revolution Health)

Are you facing the difficult task of preparing your children for your absence? Please share your story.

Photo courtesy nadiadaneels via Flickr.com.

If you’re facing terminal cancer, you already have a lot on your mind. You have to deal with your own emotions on the issue, and make preparations for your family.

But when it comes to children, the choices are so much more difficult. We want to protect them from pain, and so many times, we may think that hiding the truth is best. However, according to Lisa Barkely, clinical psychologist at Great Ormond Street Hospital in the United Kingdom, children tend to sense the truth anyway, and hiding it from them can increase their fear.

“Children who are kept in the picture tend to have a more positive recovery,” she says. “First, ask your child questions to find out what they know about the situation already. They may have overheard you talking and already had ‘fantasies’ about what is happening and feel confused or worried.”

The American Cancer Society (ACS) agrees. “Children should be told of a parent’s terminal illness so they can prepare themselves for what will happen next. The pain of losing you is likely to be worse if they are not prepared.”

Barkely goes on to say that it’s best to use words like “death” and “dying” as opposed to “going to sleep,” as those types of statements can confuse the child. After all, if you said you were going to sleep and then you never come back, the child may fear the same will happen to him when he goes to sleep, and grow to fear going to bed at night.

“Don’t tell a child what you think he or she wants to hear,” Barkely says. “It’s not helpful to say that everything is going to be ok when you know it isn’t.”

As difficult as this can be, what may help you is the thought that what you do and say now, while you’re still here, can help your child better deal with life after you’re gone. And be assured—most children who lose parents to cancer do go on to life happy, productive lives. “Having a parent with cancer is only one part of your child’s development,” says the American Cancer Society (ACS), “and does not, by itself, lead to lasting damage to them as adults.”

Mastering your own emotions before your talk to your child is important. Come to terms with your own fear, anger, and sadness, and you’ll be better able to help those who depend on you. Then, wait until you’re sure that your death is imminent, within the next few weeks. Children experience time differently than adults, and if you tell them too soon, they could have difficulty managing a long stretch of time in between. However, realize that there will never be a “perfect time” to break the news.

The ACS recommends that you think of how you prepared your child for her first day of school. You talked about all the fun things she would learn, how she would make new friends, and how going to school was a normal part of growing up. Draw on the same skills to prepare her for your passing—tell her how death is a natural part of life, and how she will go on to learn new things, make new friends, and grow up to be a wonderful person. Be as honest as you can, while considering the age of the child. Listen to discover the child’s fears and worries, and address them as best you can. According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI), two of the most common questions are, “What’s going to happen to Mommy?” and “Who will take care of me?”, so prepare for these. Above all, reassure the child that he will be taken care of, and that you will always love him.

“Saying good-bye,” says Grace H. Christ et al. in a 2006 study, “seemed not as important as a final hug, squeeze of the arm, and repeated affirmation of love.” According to the study, a 7-year old who lost her mother was comforted by remembering that, even though her mother could not talk anymore, she had squeezed her hand. For months, she put herself to sleep with this tactile memory.

Have you had an experience with children and terminal cancer? Please share your story.

Photo courtesy mesamitch510 via Flickr.com.

It’s rare. That’s why for years it was thought to be near impossible. Certain cases were suspect, most often with leukemia and malanoma, but it wasn’t proven until now. The question plaguing scientists is: Why didn’t the baby’s immune system recognize the cells as foreign and destroy them, as it usually does?

Apparently in this case, no one knew the mother had cancer. She had a normal delivery, but then was diagnosed about a month later. When the baby was 11 months old, it developed a tumor, and by then the cancer had already spread to its lungs. Fortunately, doctors were able to help and the child is now in remission. But The Institute of Cancer Research team used genetic fingerprinting to prove that the cancer cells did indeed come from the mother, and that they were “invisible” to the baby’s immune system because they lacked some DNA that would have identified them.

Scientists stressed that this case was extremely rare, and that the chances of any pregnant woman with cancer passing it on to her child are remote. In theory—and usually in life—the child’s immune system automatically destroys any cancer cells that manage to cross the placenta. Thus, researchers say this case is especially significant—it shows that the cancer cells were able to implant and grow in the fetus only because the immune system didn’t recognize them. Therefore, scientists are turning their thoughts back to the importance of targeting the immune system for new types of cancer treatment.

“This is really important research,” said Professor Peter Johnson, chief clinician at the charity Cancer Research UK, “as it adds to the evidence that cancers need to evade the immune system before they can grow, giving hope that by alerting a patient’s immune system to a cancer we can develop new types of treatment.” In other words, harnessing the power of the immune system could create new breakthroughs to help treat or even cure leukemia.

If you’re an expectant mom fighting cancer and you’re worried about passing it on to your unborn baby, talk to your doctor about your options. Remember—it rarely happens, but just to be safe, there may be some extra precautions you can take. In the meantime, though it’s sad to read about a tiny baby suffering with cancer, this study has given scientists key information, which means hope for new cancer treatments in the future.

What do you think of this new finding? Please share your thoughts.

Photo courtesy LaurSa (Laurie) via Flickr.com.

“You have a choice,” he says. “You can be negative, or you can be positive, make some changes, and make the most of it. My question to people is, why would you choose negativity?”

Diagnosed in 2000 with Hodgkins 4A, Donald has gone through a long journey of cancer treatments. Total up the chemo he’s had and you’re talking over 24 month’s worth. His journey has been a series of remissions followed by recurrences, more chemo, remission, recurrence, chemo, rinse, and repeat. To say the least, it’s been grueling.

“I got to the point where I just couldn’t do it anymore,” he says. “So I took some time off, and for three years I did okay, but then the emotions caught up with me. I was partying a lot of nights, all night, and really couldn’t get ahold of what was happening. Of course, the cancer came back, and this time it was everywhere. We did almost 16 months of chemo to keep it at bay, but I was sick two weeks out of every month. I was living only half the life everyone else was. I didn’t want to live that way anymore. I wanted to enjoy life, whatever life I had. So I quit treatment, got a new oncologist, a new hospital, had my enlarged spleen removed, and set about changing my life.”

The chemo did reduce the amount of cancer in Don’s body, but didn’t completely get rid of it. So how does he manage the knowledge that it could spread at any time?

“It doesn’t bother me at all anymore,” he says. “When I first started chemo, I was scared. I didn’t know what to expect, and chemo kicked my butt. I would be sick before I even got to the hospital. But I know now that all of that is controlled by your mind, and the more you practice redirecting your thoughts, the easier it gets.”

Far from a Pollyanna, Don advocates using positive thinking as a tool to make the cancer journey easier on yourself. He now does meditation and visualization on a daily basis. “We need to take care of the physical body, with good food and exercise, but I think the mental component has far more to do with our well-being. The brain is a crazy animal. It’s amazing the power it has, and how much damage it can do if it runs unchecked.”

Sounds all well and good, but when he was going through chemo treatment after chemo treatment and recurrence after recurrence, how did he keep up the positive emotions? You may be surprised to know!

“I started by pretending!” he says. “You know, the ‘act as if’ kind of thing. Cancer patients experience a lot of pressure around other people, because of course they ask you how you’re doing. I would think to myself, ‘Do they want the simple answer or do they want the truth?’ But you know, people want to hear the simple answer. They want to hear you’re doing great. So I started faking it. It’s like smiling when you don’t feel like it. You do it for awhile, and suddenly you’re really smiling, and your whole body benefits from it.”

What techniques does he use when his thoughts start spiraling downward? “The secret I’ve found is gratefulness. When you start getting that pit in your stomach, and your thoughts snowball in the wrong direction, take five minutes and you can change that.” Don suggests focusing on the things you’re grateful for. Some days it may be that you’re still alive. Or that you still have your loved ones around you, or even something silly like you got to enjoy your favorite kind of ice cream. “It’s a process and you have to learn how to do it,” he says, “but the benefits are huge.”

Don’s future, at this point, is unknown. He says the FDA may soon approve a new treatment for his type of cancer, and if so, he’s eager to try it. In the meantime, he’s adept at living in the moment, and is excited about accomplishing his goals in whatever time he’s given. One of those goals is to help other cancer patients by sharing his experience.

“My main message is that you have a role in how this turns out,” he says. “Cancer changes you. You’re never going to be the same person you were before. It’s such an emotional climb, you really can’t see back to where you came from. But you can choose who you are, today. And you can choose who you will become, tomorrow.”

If you’d like to read a copy of Don’s book and/or his blogs about his journey, please visit his website.

Cinco Vidas

You can participate by being part of a focus group, taking a survey, or sharing your story through a personal interview. It will mean a lot to others who are now, or may one day be sharing the journey of cancer.

Write to info@cincovidas.com andtell us if you’re a fighter, survivor or caregiver (or combination of these), your phone number, and what state/province you live in. Don’t worry- we won’t release your information to anyone else.

We simply want to hear from real people with real stories and opinions that may benefit others.

Reaching out is a great way to turn tragedy into triumph. Try it and see – it may bring new purpose and meaning to the challenges you’ve faced.

Cinco Vidas – and others touched by cancer – thank you for your help!

Love, strength and survival,

Britta