“Just once, I want to look really good,” says Kate, one of the main characters in the new movie, My Sister’s Keeper. “I look like a freak!”
The movie, based on Jodi Picoult’s novel of the same name, tracks a family’s journey through Kate’s acute promyelocytic leukemia (APL), a cancer of the blood and bone marrow. Each is affected in a unique way, from the older brother who becomes almost invisible to his driven parents, to the younger sister who was genetically engineered to donate blood and bone marrow to her sick sibling. The movie is very powerful, and we strongly recommended it to anyone.
Here at Cinco Vidas, however, we were interested to see just how much a young girl, who is going through cancer, benefits from the simple things we’ve been talking about here, like manicures, wigs, and a night at the dance with an attractive young man. Having been bald since her chemotherapy, Kate grows angry when searching for a dress. “Don’t tell me they don’t stare at me, because they do,” she tells her mother. We see how children-particularly young girls-can be affected by cancer treatments, and how simple things such as a well-fitting wig, some makeup, a pretty dress, and a nice manicure can help boost confidence and give a child a few moments of happiness amidst all the struggle.
Each year, New York puts on a big prom for children fighting cancer at the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. The young patients get to borrow the fanciest dresses and gowns, all donated. “On that day,” says Dr. Farid Boulad, “everything that has to do with cancer is gone. And they are kings and queens and they are beautiful.” The children look forward to the event all year-evidence of how important such things can be.
Another thing that becomes clear as you watch the movie: with childhood cancer, we can become so obsessed with saving live that we forget to live life. It seems so wrong for a young child to be battling this disease, and certainly wrong for them to die of it. Sometimes that sense of wrongness propels us to go overboard trying to make it “right”-in other words, make the child well, the sooner the better. Of course, this is a natural and good response, but regardless of the outcome, as we concentrate on treatments and medications and getting better, we can’t forget to make sure the child enjoys life as a child. Interactions with other children; outings with family; the ability to pursue interests such as art, music, sports, as much as possible; all these things are of primary importance to any child, cancer or not, and must not be forgotten when nursing a sick child back to health.
A positive piece of news-in a study of Latino childhood cancers, Barbara L. Jones, PhD, MSW, an assistant professor and a co-director of the Institute for Grief, Loss, and Family Survival in the School of Social Work at The University of Texas at Austin, found that cancer helped change the lives of the survivors-often for the better. “They were on a difficult path [and] a frightening cancer diagnosis caused them to stop and look at what they value, what is important. The kinds of things they thought about were the importance of their family and friends, who stands by you, what it means to be a good friend, what it means to be with someone, the value of life, appreciating the little things as well as life, and gratitude for others. They found meaning and their lives changed by facing a life-changing illness.”
If you or someone you know has a child with cancer, the Children’s Cancer Association is there to help, as well as many other organizations including the National Children’s Cancer Society, Children’s Cancer Web Page, and the American Cancer Society. Cancerkids.org offers a place where children can tell their stories. And if you’re bringing in some sunshine to a young cancer fighter with a manicure or pedicure, a massage with lotion, or a makeover, remember to always use organic and non-toxic products on their tender skin.
Have you had an experience with childhood cancer? Please share your story.
Photo courtesy of matthewcrawford via Flickr.com.
