When I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease at 16 years old, my doctor told me I would lose my hair, and I was devastated. I got it cut short, and I remember feeling like I was losing a part of myself. In fact, losing my long, brown hair seemed worse than the disease itself.

In Chapter 9 of my book, When Cancer Hits, I talk about all the aspects of losing your hair, what you can do about it, and most importantly, how to help yourself feel better and more confident about the whole thing.

The Emotional Side of Losing Your Hair

For this chapter, I talked with hair loss expert Susan Beausang, who surveyed women about the emotional effects of losing their hair. Susan explains that hair loss can affect women down to their very core. She provides examples of how women felt about hair loss, and how absolutely normal it is to feel however you’re feeling. This is not about vanity, but about who we are as mothers, daughters, wives and girlfriends.

Straight away, I give you five things to do when you first learn that you’re going to lose your hair, plus help you create a plan—based on your personality—for how you can best deal with it. And though men may have more bald role models than women, many are just as devastated by hair loss, and can benefit from the steps outlined in this chapter.

How to Find a Wig

Finding a wig is about a lot more than just taking a trip to the wig shop. When is it best to start looking? What kind of wig should you get—synthetic or real hair? Do you have to pay for it, or will your insurance plan help? What if you can’t afford it? I answer all these questions and more, so you know exactly what you need to do to find a wig you feel comfortable with.

I also tell you exactly how to care for your wig once you have it. Even if you go with a real-hair wig, you have to follow certain steps in washing and drying it. If you don’t, you risk damaging it, and unlike your hair, it won’t grow back!

Oh, and in case you were wondering, there’s a whole section on wigs for guys. Yes, they look very natural!

Scalp Care

If you’ve ever worn a wig before, you know that sometimes it can feel hot, uncomfortable, and itchy. I tell you what kind of steps you can take to make sure your wig is comfortable, and what you can do throughout the day to care for the tender skin on your scalp. Most likely you’ve never had to worry about your scalp before, so you’ll need some help, especially if you have sensitive skin.

Scarves and Hats

Not sure you want to wear a wig? I help you decide whether or not a wig is for you, then show you some of your other options, such as scarves and hats. These can be extremely stylish, and I help you find those that are specifically made for cancer patients, which means they’re warmer, easier to wear, and more comfortable than standard types.

Finally, if you’re considering going “all natural,” I help you examine the pros and cons to see if this is the right option for you.

Losing your hair doesn’t have to be a traumatic and depressing experience. Once I had my wig and started experimenting with hats and other styles, I actually had a lot of fun with it. Remember that your hair is going to grow back. With the tips in Chapter 9, you’ll make it through your temporary hair loss feeling confident and in control—and that’s exactly how you need to feel to give your body the strength it needs to heal.

(When Cancer Hits is available now—click here.)

How did you cope with hair loss during cancer? Have you read Britta’s chapter on the subject? Please share your story.

Bring along a friend for moral support.

Does stepping inside a wig salon make you feel weak in the knees? We don’t blame you! Making your first trip to the wig salon after dealing with hair loss can be a terrifying venture, but feeling prepared is easier than you think. Start your first visit armed with support. Ask a close friend, relative, or spouse (whose opinion you trust) to tag along, and allow them to be your “appearance advocate.”

If a sales person or wig specialist pressures you towards a decision and you’re feeling overwhelmed, have the friend step in and speak for you.

Make your first visit as soon as possible so you have plenty of time, but do it on a day when you’re feeling good. If the task causes you too much fatigue or anxiety, postpone until another day. Although many cancer patients advocate cutting their hair short or shaving their heads before a wig fitting, a reader on “Tips on Choosing a Wig” believes the opposite: “The best way (I have found) to go about preparing for hair loss, is to seek out a reputable wig fitter and cutter before you lose your hair. It helps the wig stylist to see your natural hair while you still have it. They go by that visual to help you select [a great wig].”

Set aside a large amount of time for your first appointment, because the process may not only be lengthy…it may also require time to step back and take a breather. If you’re feeling confused at any point during the shopping excursion, stop, step back, and walk around the block or go to lunch to give yourself time to think. Since most wig salons and shops have a “No Return Policy,” it’s crucial to create space (and time) so you won’t make a decision you’ll regret. Never purchase a wig before eliciting the opinion of a close confidant, or before viewing the wig yourself in a photograph. Ask your “appearance advocate” to bring a Polaroid or digital camera to your appointment, to let you instantly see a wig on your head.

Finally, before entering the store, think about what kind of wig will best suit your lifestyle and personality. For example, if you hate styling your hair for long periods of time, it’s important to choose a wig with very little upkeep. (Find more information on choosing the right wig here.) Also, look for a wig that is slightly lighter than your natural color, because your skin tone will likely change over time from cancer treatments. Success Beast adds, “Before you buy a wig, investigate all your options carefully. Choosing a good wig now may save you money in the end, because you’ll never have to replace it.”

Whether or not you’re nervous about entering a wig salon, as long as you remember to take your time, research the wig options available, and arrive prepared, your first visit will not only go smoothly…it will probably be a great success.

* We want to hear from you: How did your first visit go to a wig salon go? Were you successful right away? What helped you feel more comfortable and able to make a final decision?

Photo courtesy of Snap Village