For most people, a cancer diagnosis is a definite downer. Surely no one would admit to feeling “happy” about their cancer. But is it possible to feel happiness and joy while going through cancer? And if so, what’s the secret?
Strangely enough, according to many survivors, cancer can be a catalyst for more happiness, for one reason: It teaches us to be grateful.
“I woke up early one morning and realized I was happy,” says two-time breast-cancer survivor and writer, Betty Rollin. “The weird part is, I realized that the source of my happiness was, of all things, cancer-that cancer had everything to do with how good the good parts of my life were.”
Ms. Rollin goes on to say that the experience of cancer helped make her stronger, livelier, and healthier. John, a survivor of oral cancer, agrees. “Times during a cancer diagnosis can be termed as hellish,” he says. “But they can also bring about more good than bad. It was during these times I was able to reflect on what most of us take for granted.”
The old adage that happiness is all about attitude appears to be true, according to studies. Dr. Edward T. Creagan, writing for the Mayo Clinic, reports that twin research discovered 50 percent of happiness is genetically predetermined, while 40 percent is determined by how we relate to setbacks. Only 10 percent was related to the environment around us, including our income, housing, and transportation.
Researchers at the University of California at San Diego found similar results in their studies of Americans age 60 to 98 who live independently and deal with cancer, heart disease, and other health conditions. “Optimism and effective coping styles were found to be more important…than traditional measures of health and wellness,” said lead researcher Dilip Jeste.
Dr. Bernie M. Siegel, author of Love, Medicine, and Miracles, offers a few tips on achieving happiness when you’re dealing with cancer. First, he recommends you accept the situation, so you can empower yourself to change it. (Although he recommends you ignore any predictions of your own future, such as how long the disease will last or if it is terminal.) Next, he suggests “retreat,” as a way of finding a quiet place to reflect and prepare to take on your new life. Finally, surrender the outcome to whatever higher power you believe in, so you can find inner peace. “Surrender the pain, fear, and worries and you’ll be able to keep love, hope, and joy in your life,” he says.
A few more hints to find happiness along the way: forgive yourself for any mistakes you may have made, stay in charge of your thoughts and feelings (hold positive images in your mind and take a time out when you need to), and have faith that you can overcome your obstacles.
“Forgive yourself and others,” says Dr. Siegel, “live with hope, faith and love and watch the results in your life and in the lives you touch. Remember that success and healing refer to what you do with your life, not to how long you avoid death.”
Survivor John is living proof that it’s possible: “When I climbed out of that poor, poor me stage and looked at all that I had, I never felt better nor happier than I did at that moment.”
What are your secrets to happiness while dealing with cancer? Please share your thoughts.
Photo courtesy of myabsurdlife via Flickr.com.
